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Dating with a Disabilty

Wed, January 24, 2018 9:44 PM

I found it extremely difficult with the aspect of Dating when it comes to my colitis along with my mental disability.

From past relationships I had whenever I revel to the woman I'm dating. That I have this condition, how pricey it is and why im still at home at 30.

I would be rejected even If everything else about the relationship was fine between us( communication, seeing each other, romance etc)

They would see a problem with me in the long term( marriage kids etc). it didn't even matter age if they were older or younger, taller, shorter they lost romantic feeling for me. and would want to just be friend from then on even though that not what I want I wanted more ( a romantic relationship)

people in the past would tell me to focus on myself and it will come but I have been and achevie so much despite my conditions

Im happy with my life

A) great family
B) awesome friends
C) i volunteer
D) got my bachelors degree
E) help illustrated children's book
F) Kind, understanding etc

among many other things going for me

It just the Dating / relationship aspect is very discouraging especially when it something I want in life ( 1 of my goals is to get married kids )

because to me I accept them 100% didn't matter if they where they worked, what issues they deal with etc I love them for them but for me I couldn't get that same integrality, empathy etc

any advice on this subject would be appreciated

Thank you

Overdrive
Joined Jan 24, 2018

Mon, February 19, 2018 12:11 AM

Reply posted for Overdrive.

I don't have an answer for you, but I wanted to say you're not alone.

My previous relationship was very serious and my medical issues were always first priority, however money became a serious issue in every aspect. I always wonder if I didn't have medical expenses would we have had so much money stress. The guilt was overwhelming that I required such a different set of needs than him.

In my current relationship we rarely talk about my Crohns, and frankly I'm scared to explain. I don't want him to see me in the hospital, but even if he did I don't know how he would react which also scares me. It he doesn't handle it the way that I need him too then I have to end the relationship because this is my whole life. Luckily, he is very well-off so my symptoms are really well managed due to the amount of money I can now throw at it.

I also have ADHD and just recently started taking something for it. World of different. Am I making millions of dollars? No. But I feel more confident that one day I could afford everything on my own, and eliminate the financial aspect. However it doesn't eliminate the fear that the symptoms will scare someone off.

Maybe try going to support groups around you. Surrounding yourself with similar people might expose you a new community of people who "get you" more. That's what I always think about doing when I feel like my friends are done with me canceling plans because I don't feel good.

Mlosey
Joined Feb 15, 2018

Sun, January 28, 2018 11:32 AM

Reply posted for charbs.

it called mild processing disorder ( it basically takes me longer to do certain task ) and the main reason at the age of 12 i was put on disability before colitis

Overdrive
Joined Jan 24, 2018

Sun, January 28, 2018 10:51 AM

Reply posted for Overdrive.

So what is your mental disability?

charbs
Joined Oct 31, 2016

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