Community Forum

Have a question, or want to share your own tips and experiences? Join the discussion in the community forum. You must be registered to participate. Our forums are moderated by Crohn's & Colitis Foundation staff to facilitate a safe environment.

Pushed away

Sun, June 30, 2019 4:34 PM

I apologise if this is not the right place to post this. But my boyfriend was diagnosed a couple of months ago and now he has decided to split up with me. I tried so hard to support him with his illness. But refused all of my help. I visited him every day in hospital and his dad commented how I must really love him. This then freaked him out and he didn’t know if he could date me anymore. Before he was diagnosed he agreed to move in with me as my friend was moving out. The day he was supposed to move in, he was in hospital. After being discharged he waited about a month to move in with me. He lived with me for a couple of months. Then he started to go round his parents each night and not spend so much time with me. We agreed previously to have kids in a couple of years. Now he says he cannot give me what I want. I’m 7 years older than him. And 31 with type 1 diabetes. So I wanted a child before 35 due to my condition. He says it’s not the illness that made him leave me. But as people with chron’s. Would you agree that this condition can change people? 

Hes been in a flare up since about february i think. He has been in a lot of pain and barely eating. And food was one of our interests. Please tell me if I did something wrong? We’ve been together for 2.5 years.

FPO Glitter
Joined Jun 30, 2019

Tue, August 13, 2019 2:45 PM

Reply posted for Glitter.

I’ve never been hospitalized with Crohns but I did have a collectomy with colitis. I think my Crohns is not so bad as Many people on this board, but it’s still an awful disease. Perhaps your boyfriend does not feel comfortable sharing his illness with you; the bowel issues, nausea, constant tiredness.  It’s certainly your desision, but considering your age, health and desire to have kids you might consider moving  on and finding a healthier guy to consider a life with.

FPO charbs
Joined Oct 31, 2016

Tue, August 13, 2019 12:11 AM

Reply posted for Glitter.

I think he needs your support, Dont let him go alone anywhere.

FPO Sonpatino
Joined Aug 13, 2019

Mon, July 29, 2019 5:49 PM

Reply posted for Glitter.

Maybe becsuse your boyfriend is experiencing a flare up and pain, he only has time to think about how to handle his symptoms and reduce the pain.  It will be really hard for patients who are experiencing pain to think about future; they are in survival mode.  It will be hard for him to think about kids, moving, etc. when he is experiencing pain.  

FPO Laflorette
Joined Sep 9, 2019

Related Topics

Exhausted and hopeless
Author Image Mrscarolmills86
Joined Apr 26, 2019

Hello dear caregivers, I come today to just type ....

read more

Prednisolone side effects...
Author Image Kazz94
Joined Dec 1, 2019

Hi, I've signed up to this forum as my daughte....

read more

Concerned for the future
Author Image Mesare
Joined Dec 27, 2019

I am hoping that this is a judgement free space be....

read more