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Hi my name is Biftu, I have had crohn's since I was 17 and Im 25 now, I was Diagnosed until I was 19 tho... its been a hard battle. Im actually one of the lucky ones I haven't had surgery "YET" and i hope I never do... but the hardest thing for me abt crohns is just dealing with the fact that I am "DIFFERENT" now i cant stand it... Im diff from everyone im arnd family and friends.. I was taken Humira and it works like magic for the crohn's but it didnt deal with the depression.. over the past month my depression has went out of control, i stopped taking the Humira, dropped out of school, and starting acting like ppl arnd me I guess I drink smoke weed,, I know that terrible for me.. but IDK it's like I just gave up.... this is my fist time even talking to anyone or a cite that has to due with crohns.. IDK im just tierd.... I hope i can get better mentally by talking to ppl that actually can relate to me... everyone arnd me just doesn't understand.. everyone gets irratated cuz im always tired , I move slow.. i just cut everyone off cuz i feel like such a burden to them.. idk sorry for being such a downer but this actually felt good!! hope to hear your replys and please ... tell me exactly how u feel no need to sugar coat,, cuz i know im messing up i just dont know how to stop it!!

Thanks

 Reply posted for Biftu.

I know what it's like to be sick of Crohn's disease taking over your life. I had to leave my job because of it and am currently not responding to any conventional medications. I can barely leave my house anymore and there are alot of days that I spend in depression.

Look up mypsct.blogspot.com...he's going through a stem cell transplant for crohns (im hoping for one too)

and please, email me: shortjen04@yahoo.com

we can text and email..i think it would help us both deal with this emotionally

but seriously you have to quit drinking and smoking, you're making your illness worse and that's only going to cause you more depression...trust me..i'm a recovering alcoholic too. I know it's hard to quit, but your life is worth it!

 Reply posted for Biftu.

Have you seen the Crohnsboy website or scdlifestyle website? It's not easy to see any way forward when you are feeling ill and exhausted but do have a look at these sites. They have found good ways of taking control of their own health.
It's horrible to be ill but I was amazed by the number of people who commented on how well I looked once I found a way to control uc(most didn't  even know I had been ill) and even more amazed by the number that are asking questions and changing their own health because they have seen me change.
Read about the real changes you can make and then just take it a day at a time. I didn't think I had the willpower or strength but the threat of surgery was enough to make me think I would never forgive myself if I didn't try to change the way I lived first.

Singing nurse. Do look up Terry Wahls on utube if you haven't already.

 Reply posted for singingnurse.

sorry Bifftu, is it? Sorry if I got that wrong, hang in there. You can only do what you can do. I hear pot makes you feel better......

 Reply posted for Biftu.

Hi : i was just diagnosed with CD last year. The kicker is that I have had relapsing remitting MS since 99. I am on biologic meds for the MS and if they put me on anything like that for CD,it will make the MS worse. I am a nurse( an NP,but I teach nursing at the college level because of my health). I am sorry to complain, but i am sick of being sick! I am so so sick of steroids(both for MS excerbations and to keep the CD in check, I am sick of the pain, I am sick of the loose watery stools. i wore a pad the other day to class and I was out in front of the class teaching and I  pooped my pants! Without warning, couldn't  run fast enough if I wanted to. Tysabri is causing a great deal of problems with friends of mine that have MS, (PML and JC antibodies) and I am so so tired!!! i am out of work now(boss sent me home to rest, not doing much better) I feel like a whiner, that a should just be able to "suck it up" but don't know how.......... 

WOW!  I know how you feel, the depression, lack of understanding (which is not intentional), rebelling against medications and feeling defeated.  I was diagnosed April 2004 and had no idea what was about to happen to my life.  I was a newly wed with no children and now I'm a divorced single mother to a beautiful 5yr old daughter.   I was in denial about my condition (I still am in someways) and continued drinking alcohol and eating whatever I wanted.  Now I work fulltime, go to school, and take care of my daughter.  I still suffer from occasional bouts of depression and feel extremely guilty that my daughter has a sick mother with no energy.  I want to prove to myself that I can be successful with this illness by obtaining my bachelors degree and I'm halfway there.  I always feel self conscience about my weight, I have always been thin but when I lose a significant amount of weight especially after being hospitalized I feel insecure.  I don't date out of fear of rejection or burdening someone, and I don't think I have the time or energy.  I recently quit taking the pentasa because I don't feel it's working and I don't want to tell my dr. or family because i don't feel like switching AGAIN or going back on steroids.  The only thing that seems to help me get thru is the love I have for my daughter, I am forced to get up and smile everyday for her.  Dig deep within and find your motivation, I can't wait to graduate and show my daughter and the world that even in sickness, I will prevail!  It does feel good to know I'm not alone, so grateful for the CCFA!