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Between two worlds


Thu, April 06, 2017 7:09 PM

I am re-posting this from "our stories"

I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (UC) almost 2 years ago during my first year of medical school in what was probably my first major flare. Since then, I have had a second major flare and a "probable" flare in between that did not require specific treatment. Thinking about my disease, I often feel strange existing both as a patient and a future medical professional. During my initial flare, I had to miss a week of medical school but perhaps the most stressful part was fear. I feared having a flare at the most inconvenient times--prior to exams, during a busy week at the hospital--as well as a fear of developing complications of the disease. With time, however, I came to worry less about my future and become more accepting of my condition.

Fortunately, I did not have to miss school time during my second main flare ( I had an uncomfortable week taking bathroom breaks between patients) but I did sign up for a four-week rotation with a gastroenterology team. I don't know why I did it; perhaps I believe that it will somehow help me deal with this condition mentally or perhaps I have a nascent interest in making a career out of this. Anyway,  I found myself ironically being part of the the treatment team for patients with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) despite myself taking steroids for my UC flare.

Beyond medical education, I found myself considering how my role affects those of patients with IBD in my interactions with them. Usually, I never told any of the patients although I am open to other students and medical  residents about UC. Overall, I was afraid it would be intimidating or lead to patients expecting special treatment or, perhaps, I just felt uncomfortable discussing my own weaknesses. The few times I tried to speak to patients, I had mixed results; I got a patient in a difficult time to feel less alone but I also failed to convince another to accept beneficial treatment.

Having completed my experience as a caregiver and patient, I struggle with whether or not make gastroenterology a career. I will admit that I have become more fascinated by it, I also see it as an act of surrender, as a way of letting my UC dictate my career. Moreover, I have a nagging fear that it would be somehow less altruistic to take care of people with one's own condition than with a condition one has a more difficult time understanding at a personal level.

Lastly, I would like to say that throughout all of this I have greatly benefited from the support of my family, friends, doctors and even my medical school. Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned is how alone people with IBD can be. While my story is not one of particular struggle, I feel that by sharing it I can reach out to other people with IBD.

I would be interested to see if anyone agrees or not. Would patients like to see a doctor who has their condition on not?

FPO ammedstudent
Joined Jul 11, 2016

Sat, July 22, 2017 9:08 AM

Reply posted for ammedstudent.

Yes. I am a nurse practitioner (psychiatric) for 30 years. Recently dxed with CD. My gastro patients value the empathy I have for their condition, which sometimes I can partially improve due to the complex interactions between mental health and gut disease.Good luck.

FPO healerchic
Joined Sep 13, 2017

Fri, July 07, 2017 2:46 AM

Reply posted for ammedstudent.

Your story is very unique! I felt like I was reading a novel just now. But I honestly feel like I would love if my GI doctor had Crohn's because then maybe she'd be more compassionate on a deeper level of having been there herself. Although each patient is unique & experiences their disease differently. I bet you'd be an amazing GI doctor. I think if going into that specialty is your passion you should go for it!

FPO Chronicbadass
Joined Jul 7, 2017

Fri, April 07, 2017 12:36 PM

Reply posted for ammedstudent.

Your story is very interesting to me. A close friend and I discuss this topic fairly regularly. We're both in PhD programs with interests in healthcare. And our research ties into IBD patient populations. 

I don't have an answer to your question. I think it lies in whether GI is your passion. Is this the reason you wanted to become a doctor? I've asked all of my GIs over the years why they chose this specialty because I could never understand how they enjoy performing rectal exams all day (Fun fact: they don't). Most of their answers surrounded the idea that there is a lot to learn about the digestive system and that keeps it interesting.

Personally, I like that I have kept my research close to something that is close to me. But it is strange when 1 day I am seeing a doctor for professional reasons (research, product pitches etc) and the next I'm in their office or the one next door, as a patient. But I think it has allowed me a special bond with some physicians, they don't see me as just a patient. 

Would I want a doctor who has crohns? I'm not sure. I'd definitely relate better, but I wonder if it could bias your medical treatments based on what you've personally experienced. I just want physicians who are good at what they do, are involved and don't treat me like a text book. 

Best of luck with your decision and with finishing your medical degree!

FPO akr008
Joined Sep 2, 2014

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