Community Forum

I'll be moving to a dormitory soon, an Honors House. There will be shared restrooms, a shared kitchen, and a lot of junk food offered my way, regardless of the number of times I mention my disease. (I know this after last semester in the Residence Halls.)  Right now, I can't eat anything solid without lying down for the next day or more, but it's hard for me to deal with understanding that I am different (newly diagnosed). I all-too-often understand that food has spiritual implications. Food is involved in human bonding, in fitting in. Food is a large part of ceremony and celebration. Food is recreational. People share joy when they share a meal and thus share a positively connective bond. Food is in spiritual communion.

So, my questions are... any suggestions on how to get over my mind's nature of feeling automatically isolated when I am unable to involve myself with others due to the disease's aversion to human food?

And does anyone have any advice about public restrooms, via embarassment control? 

Thanks so much, and stories of all kinds are welcome.

Take care,

=Carla

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

I just want to thank everyone who replied and especially those who offered bits of confidence-boosting advice. :) lol

Much appreciation and love. Good luck everybody. Take care.

=Carla

p.s.

I'll continue to check in for any additional responses.

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

Hi, In reading a lot of the postings, I see we are all in good company.Its helpful to share.  I was diagnoses after grad school so I did not have to deal with the dorm bathrooms, however, being an audiologist I would often sit in the soundbooth with the pediatric patients and we would all hear my stomach gurgle.  Anyway, my best advise is to really buckle down with a strick diet of low fat, low fiber, no caffene, no soda, no salads... let your colon heal.  I always thought that the gas and frequent trips to the bathroom came from irritation.. sounds obvious I know. but think of it this way, if you eat like I did, I found that my colon got to heal and I was not constantly scraping roughage through my colon.  Does that make sense? All I can say is that it really helped me.  I also started using FiberCon per my dr's recommendation... wow what a difference.

Anyway, good luck. You are not alone. Deb

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

Carla,

Here's a thought about the dorm bathroom thing. Keep an "Emergency" bathroom bag at the ready with soft toilet paper, flushable wet wipes, deodorizer spray (your choice), magazine, book (whatever you do during this "time"), Ipod, and just grab it as you head for the bathroom. Kind of like the emergency bag you have when you go out or travel. Just a suggestion.

It is what it is. At least multi task doing it right.

take care

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

Sounds to me like you are incredibly insightful and will figure this out on your own terms.  Folks your age may not realize it yet, but everyone has their cross to bear.  I'm betting that your friends will appreciate having you around even if you can't enjoy the late night pizza with them.  It's very important that you keep your sense of humor about these limitations, and realize that you have so much more to bridge the gap.

When I would stay over at my girlfriend's dorm room (19-20 years ago; she's now my wife), I used to have to dash downstairs to the passage to the male dorm in order to poop.  I don't have great advice on this front.  It never bothered me that much.  It is what it is.  You are so much more than your disease.  Please remember that.

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

I'm in the same boat. I'm newly diagnosed and my girlfriend and I are total foodies. Ethnic food has been a big part of my social life for the last couple of years, especially the spicy stuff. I have to pass on Thai, Vietnamese, and Indian food because of the stiff spices, but I have had a lot of luck with sushi. It's totally lean and tuna sashimi was really easy on my stomach during a particularly brutal flareup. If you have access (I'm lucky in Oklahoma) buffalo steaks and sausages are super-lean and make a great alternative to regular beef, especially if you put stock in the "Maker's Diet" by Jordan Rubin. He's got a real thing for organic grass-fed organ meats like liver and such. I'm not in remission by any means, so it's a constant experiment, but there's a lot of food out there. Hope that helps. Have fun and good luck.

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

Carla,

I just want to applaud you for being brave enough to live on campus!! I couldn't do it. When I would visit my hubby (then, boyfriend), in college, I always freaked out about the bathroom situation. I remember asking him if he can actually go knowing ppl are in and out all the time. I truly admire you!

I found lysol spray in the travel section at drug stores. Its nice b/c its small enough to fit into your purse!

Good luck...

K

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

Carla- It is hard, plain & simple, emotionally, physically!!! Find one friend you can trust and understand even if they don't live in the same building. I hate public restrooms, come to think of it I dislike going to the bathroom altogether! LOL I don't know your meds or medical history, etc. but if your flare ups aren't under control, try different meds. I have had to use Immodium before & then been changed to prescription dose but I try to not use it as a "crutch" so to speak. Your body does need to take of business. Now the bathroom thing- hate them. People can be cruel unfortunately no way around that. I find the farthest bathroom the last stall the one that flushes the best, bring my own toilet paper & invest in a good spray (Bard Medi-aire Biological Odor Eliminator check online). A girls gotta do whatcha gotta do. There's just no way around it.

Don't isolate yourself, simply don't do it. As easy as that sounds-it can be hard. I have found this. Come into a gathering shrug your shoulders no thank you I'm not hungry, I already ate. Laugh it off. Excuse yourself when needed-no excuses... most important of all... no excuses, just excuse yourself. Don't make a big deal. When you are not feeling up to it stay in your room. Heating pads you heat in the micro are the best for intestinal cramps or back pain, etc. Always remember, you need to take care of you! Say it as a mantra- I am what counts I need to take care of me, take care of me. You are young and it takes time but you are strong. Ask for what you need from those around you. You will be surprised how many will help you! God bless.

 Reply posted for Quarmla.

i wanted to let u know i can relate ...

i have had UC for five yrs but am showing crohns signs so the dr thinks it might b that n not UC ...

but n e ways ..

i know how u feel am in my early 20s so all my friends are partying n getting drunk and eatin whatever...

and i never really go out w them on the wkends bc i know they'll want me to drink w em an i know ill want to lol.

but when your having flare ups or problems its not a good idea to eat what u want an drink too.  i am to the point where for the most part i have to drink water water water cuz any kinda juice or anything else just results in diarrhia ...

im trying to get better bc after 3 str8 months of being sick an havin all these damn sypmtoms im kinda sick of feeling this way i work a physical job in the heat most days workin atleast 9 hours a day its summer time an i just wanna feel noramal in the summer time ;( . i know at mym moms one summer she had friend chicken an i told her i couldnt eat that (idk why but when im flaring i throw fried ckn up) . i know what ur going to but most ppl arent going to care bc its not there intestines in happening too.