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My husband has severe crohns disease. diagnosed 20 years ago. He has ben on steroids for 7 years now, tried Remicaid. Now on Humira, lomotil,prednisone,abilify,alprazolam,beeno,lactaid and others. I understand how terrible this disorder is but,he tells everyone about it. All the neighbors, strangers in the street, everyone. All he ever talks about is his "belly" and his poop. He contantly moans and groans. We have no friends anymore because they do not want to be around him. He has barely left the house in a year and has gained a lot of weight. He sits and does nothing but play on the computer.  And he eats terribly -two hamburgers and a package of macaroni salad, a bag of potato chips and twinkies at one meal!  He is mean and agitated all the time. He recently has surgery for adhesions and the docs said this should take care of 80% of the pain he says he was in, nope! The surgeon told him to eat low fat and low fiber in SMALL amounts, he eats at least 60 grams of fat at every meal. hot dogs,pizza,hamburgers, cakes cookies chips. I don't know what to do for him anymore!  He just gets angry if I say anything. and yes he is on meds for depression!!!

 Reply posted for berykute.

I ran out of room so I'm using two posts.

I'm so sorry to hear how miserable things are for both of you. 20 years is a long time after diagnosis to still have not come to terms with the reality of this type of disease in a healthy way. Forgive me if you've already tried this:  Therapy, perhaps a cognitive-behavioral approach from someone who is at least familiar with the disease and trained in helping others to overcome relative situations (maybe even someone with a history on eating disorders who knows IBD well), while focusing on emotional coping skills for the disease and positive behavior changes such as just walking or getting out of the house for 30 minutes a day (which will give him more energy & a higher pain tolerence)... things of this nature have helped me along my way and allowed me to put my disease into a more positive perspective.

If he's willing to start helping himself (and to help you inadvertently in the meantime) and insurance/finance allows, I'd suggest going twice a week at first, with or without you (his decision, though it's probably best alone) -- but always focusing on the emotional/physical aspects of his disease -- until he's come to terms with it, and has learned to love and accept himself and open up enough to consider others with compassion, without comparing his pain and suffering in an inproportionate way. If he's scared friends off talking about it, it sounds like he hasn't learned to adapt emotionally. He may need to readjust his goals.

Here's a great statistic: 80% of people who give therapy a go succeed in accomplishing their goals and leave in better shape than they did when they came in. This evidence is case-study based.

 Reply posted for berykute.

Often medicine cannot change certain negative thought patterns that are engrained into many individuals. It sounds like he's done everything from a medicinal standpoint that might benefit him. All he needs now is a little training; mental re-routing. One can actually keep certain brain cells alive by use and let others die by just not "going there." If he creates positive connections and keeps them active on a daily basis, and reverts from allowing the negative to consume him, long-term positive change is sure to ensue over time. This requires some mindfulness techniques, or self-awareness which can be achieved through open therapy.

Also, it only takes 3 days - 2 weeks to change a behavior, habit, or addiction, when considering his eating habits. You might want to introduce the Inflammation Free Diet Plan to him. It might instill hope & lifestyle change.

Hope I helped. EFT is another option. One must have an open mind. He has to want to get better and suspend his skepticism for a moment. You could use yourself (your own happiness) as a motivating factor, if he hasn't yet found the confidence to do it for himself. Good luck.

=Carla

 Reply posted for berykute.

i'm sorry you both are having such a rough time.

my husband also has crohns, about 17yrs now.  and things are getting worse.  right now he is having some major problems and i'm not sure what he will do...ignoring has been his way.

all i can say about your husband is to try to stick with him, maybe suggest he see a counselors to talk about what he is doing.  we have young children so i have now resorted to using that against him, which has helped him to not ignore quite so much.  but his eating habits are horrible too, he'll do good for a few weeks, then right back to the bad stuff. 

good luck.