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What to say to people who think your symptoms are made up?


Thu, November 13, 2008 1:00 AM

I'm still amazed that my colleagues in the medical field are accusing me of fabricating my symptoms.  They know what Crohns is, have studied it, been tested on it, treat patients with it.  And yet, when I need help when I'm ill (which is more frequent lately), I'm accused of being lazy, misdirected, exaggerating my symptoms, and in need of counseling.  I'm sorry, but counseling is not going to help with trips to the bathroom or help when I'm doubled over in pain, not when I'm down to one meal a day which is about all I can tolerate.  I could understand for non-medical folk, and with them you could print out information or direct them to this website, but what about health professionals who should know better?

Other than a lot of mean things sprinkled with expletives, does anyone have a suggestion for what I can say to them?

FPO nickrystal
Joined Nov 7, 2008

Thu, January 22, 2009 8:44 PM

 Reply posted for Becky002.

I have the same problem were I work I even have a note from the doctor that says to reduce my hours and they still won't do anything . who do you talk too to get an employer to do something I am thinking the labor board maybe

FPO mc440
Joined Oct 20, 2008

Thu, January 01, 2009 1:00 AM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

Maybe you should take them to the bathroom with you when you go, don't let them put on a gas mask either.  Maybe after the first 5 times, they will not down play it!  Just saying!

FPO blntnchrs
Joined Jan 1, 2009

Mon, December 22, 2008 1:11 PM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

...and here I am trying to figure out what to say to my mother and sister when they downplay my symptoms and UC in general. I have a longer road ahead of me than I thought if your co-workers in the medical field don't get it. You would think that after people see the effects of UC/Crohn's they would be more understanding. Well this hasn't been true for me either. It seems like ever since my mother and sister seen me in the hospital and had the doctors talk directly with them about UC they have moved farther in the direction of you must not be taking care of your health and stress levels enough. My mom likes to refer to the pain as belly aches caused by stress. My sister thinks I'm not exploring the appropriate food cures, like raw food diet and such.
 
I have found myself repeating the same comment to them anytime they say something off key to me. When my mom says "belly ache from stress" I say "oh, you mean digestive disease" or "you mean the issue with my immune system attacking my digestive tract until it bleeds".

FPO varbeck
Joined Dec 18, 2008

Wed, December 10, 2008 1:00 AM

 Reply posted for Becky002.

   I am so sorry for you and what you are going through. This really scares me for my son.

   He is 14 and has been diagnosed for 4 months now.

    I have had one big argument with a teacher at school. He was having a flare up and the teacher told him he was fine and she didn't see anything wrong with him. She told him he can go to the bathroom after class, even though, he has a permanent bathroom pass. Needless to say, his flare up was much worse that month and it took longer to get it under control.

I don't remember everything I said because I was so angry when I called the school. The one thing I do remember telling her was "if my son walked in here on crutches, then you can assume he broke his leg. However, unless you have x-ray vision, you can't possibly see his injuries."  It has been a month now and we haven't had anymore problems. Only time will tell.

Your situation is worse because you are in the medical field. Did they learn anything or are they going through the motions for a paycheck? That type of intolerance in the medical profession should not be accepted. You must have a strong spirit to deal with them. Hopefully, they will learn something from you. They may not realize it yet, but you may be their teacher. 

FPO treasure
Joined Dec 8, 2008

Tue, December 09, 2008 2:23 PM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

If it were me, I'd tell them to take a bunch of Ex-Lax for a day and let me know how their day goes after that!!!!

FPO pb4
Joined Apr 8, 2008

Wed, December 03, 2008 8:51 PM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

I loved the colonoscopy xrays reply.  It's ok.  My own family who many have chron's(I have had UC for over 25 years) and UC don't even believe me!  I have read a couple of books(Just Fine, by Carol Sveillich, MA) that have helped...ME and things I would like to say and show them, but I know it won't do any good.  I did make sure to get the membership to CCFA cause you get that great card that makes me laugh that says..."I Can't Wait"! which makes me laugh and I pull it out just for a laugh for myself...gotta keep a good sense of humor.  Good Luck!

FPO smiller68
Joined Dec 3, 2008

Tue, November 25, 2008 1:15 PM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

I've had the same thing happen to me.  I've had someone try to tell me I was faking having Crohn's to get attention.  It made me so mad.  I eventually just showed people that needed proof notes from my doctor.  I remember one time at school I brought in the images from my colonoscopy.  People then shut up.  The thing is, you shouldn't have to prove to people that you are sick.  A note from your doctor should be enough and usually they are more than happy to provide one.

FPO aekrocks
Joined Nov 24, 2008

Sun, November 16, 2008 2:46 AM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

A real travest occurs when a person not only has to contend with not longer being able to do what they love to do, but also has to battle for their colleagues belief, respect and understanding.  They seem to be saying verbally or non verbally "why can't you get this under control?" or "But you look good."  It is important to recognize that your condition is having an impact on your job performance. Your Boss needs to be involved to deal with discrimination issues.  I would advise you to seek help (lfor invisible disability) rather than risk going unprotected.  You should not have to think of things to say to people in the face of such accusations. 

It takes a lot of fortitude and strength to live with IBD.  You are displaying perseverance despite your personal struggle with health issues. Being goal oriented, talented and driven, I'm sure you want your life back more than anyone.  Good luck.

FPO ibdamom
Joined Jul 4, 2008

Sat, November 15, 2008 1:00 AM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

Hi nickrystal,

Sorry to hear about how your colleagues are acting.  That's pretty unbelievable that they are that thick-headed.  I think the insults and expletives would work well.  :)  Well, maybe not...  I do not have CD, but I have UC and I too am ending up in the bathroom a lot.  I try not to make it too obvious that I go often, but I am fortunate because my coworkers are understanding.  I agree with Becky002 about approaching your boss.  If this makes your coworkers not like you, then big deal, they obviously aren't too caring to begin with.  If your boss is part of the problem, then go above his/her head.  It's probably looked down upon to make a complaint, but they are singling you out because you are sick, and that is not right in any way shape or form.  Let us know what you decide  I hope everything works out okay. Good luck!

optimist

FPO optimist
Joined Jun 23, 2008

Thu, November 13, 2008 3:56 PM

 Reply posted for nickrystal.

Wow, I am sorry for your situation.  I know I get looks and comments from people I know too, but they are not in the health care profession.  You would think people like that would be more empathetic.  But I know that it is hard for healthy people, to feel for people who are constantly sick, the way they should feel.  They do not feel the constant excruciating stomach pains that we have to endure; they do not understand the feeling of having to go to the bathroom 12 times a day so they just assume that it is in our head or something.  If they could just feel your pain for one day, they would understand.  If it was only that easy. 

I wish I had some advice for you, but I have not figured out what to tell people myself.  The only thing I can tell you is that if your colleagues are constantly bothering you about your situation, then maybe you need to take the issue to your boss.  Crohn’s disease is covered under the Disability Act and employers have to make certain accommodations for people who are chronically ill.  I know that would not bring happiness good will to the work place but it is a way to get the harassment to stop.

FPO becky002
Joined Nov 2, 2008

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