My boyfriend of over two years has UC-- possibly Crohn's-- and lately it's really been taking a toll on our relationship. He was diagnosed very shortly after I started dating him, so I've always been used to dealing with his disease, and I try to be very understanding of what he's going through. However, when he had a flare a few months ago, he was put on the 6mp and everything started going downhill. In the last 2 and a half months, we've had sex about 5 times, when we used to have sex at LEAST 3 times a week. I have always had a very high sex drive, and though I definitely want way more in a relationship than sex, I'm having trouble being constantly rejected by my boyfriend. He says that since he's started the 6mp, he just has no interest in sex, and that it's not my fault. I'm trying so hard to be understanding, because I know he really doesn't feel well, but I feel like if this keeps up much longer, it's really going to do a number on our relationship. I'd never want to leave him-- we hope to get married within the next few years-- because I love him a lot and he's my absolute best friend... but I also know that I have sexual needs, and this just isn't working for me.
I've heard a lot of people with IBD suffer from low sex drive, so how do you deal with it in your relationship? Is there anything that's helped you get it back? I'm at my wit's end.
Reply posted for SweetRhapsody.
i went through this myself.when my protein is down my body does not work right..i took Viagra and this did not help.i had to get my body better and work on my head.i have a great wife of 35years and she was great in helping with my head problems.
our sex life is great and things work most of the time but when they don't we talk about it .
this is what makes my marriage what it is today,and i thank God for what i have today,good luck its worth it
Reply posted for SweetRhapsody.
Is your boyfriend seeing a therapist to help him deal with his emotional feelings about this disease? Reason I ask is I think there is an emotional component to this and his sex drive could be partly due to that. There could be any number of things going on with him emotionally - feeling less adaquate, less sexy, afraid, etc.
I personally feel less sexy with all the stuff that's going on in my bowls with this disease and my sex drive has gone down too because of it. Another thing is that I have had to prioritize and sex has taken a back seat to getting well. When I saw my therapist, she suggested that I could decide to have sex with him for our relationship even if I don't enjoy it as much right now. I am thinking about it but it's hard to feel motivated.
Also, if you really love him for more than sex, I would think you would be willing to work at it so this could be telling you something about your feelings for him. You may also need to see a therapist to work this out. Maybe seeing one together would be the best idea....
Good Luck!
Beth
Reply posted for SweetRhapsody.
So far IBD is a life long disease. It's can be painful, debilitating, anxiety producing, stressful, wearing and a lot more. Don't count on things changing until there is a cure for the disease. It really doesn't matter if low sex drive is caused my medication or other cause, it's there and may or may not change. I hate to say this but you'll need to accept it or move one as a person can't turn these feelings on and off like a switch.
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