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Do any of you have family members that are not supportive and make you feel bad/guilty for being sick.  

Sometimes I can't even walk up the stairs because i'm so weak.  I can't even think about getting a 9-5 right now, i'd fall asleep at my desk.  I feel such pressure from the family to get a job & they write me letters that say stuff like "I don't understand what you are doing with your life" & these statements hurt me.  I don't know how to convey to them my situation.  Does anyone have any advice 

 Reply posted for alivein315.

I go through the same thing with my family. I have been given nasty comments as well as denial from my family that it has put me to the point of tears, but now I realize that not everyone can understand this disease. Crohn's and Colitis are funny that they may make you look completely okay, but in all reality on the inside your body is pretty much eating itself alive. Some days are okay and some days are horrible. It is an illness that can come out of remission as quickly as it goes in. It is a really confusing disease, especially to those who aren't educated or see what is really going on. Just try not to take the negative comments personal. You know what you are dealing with is real, and that is what matters. We all know stress is the worst for IBD, along with other things. I recommend counseling, it has helped me so much with all of it.

 Reply posted for alivein315.

people just do not understand unless they've been there.......I can understand the tiredness.........I have colitis and am exhausted all the time....I work full time but it is very hard.....I have to force myself to get up in the mornings and put one foot in front of the other......finding a support group such as this is a good idea for you I think.......

 Reply posted for breezy.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't talk to my family anymore, I always got the well your fat how can you be that sick and be heavy person. SO I understand. I am lucky though and have a very supportive husband and older kids. The feeling tired THAT'S my life to a tee. I have not been able to work a full time job since Dec of 04.  I hope you get better and I am always here for you. Believe me I have been through the ringer with this disease I understand.

 Reply posted for alivein315.

Thank you all of you for the caring & sincere responses.  It really helps to read your reply's.  

 Reply posted for alivein315.

please find a local support group they are listed in chapters and events. I had a similar problem with my husband who just couldn't grasp my condition.I took him to a monthy group meetings and when he listened to everyones stories his attitude changed. He now understands how difficult it can sometimes be for us. But hang in there and positive thinking and meditation plus the right meds will help. i also found yoga to help me in stressful situations. There is a mind-body connection. Feel better soon!

 Reply posted for alivein315.

The time has come for you to take the bull by the horns and control of your life. Having family come on this site  may or may not work. As soon as they hear the word genetic, you'll hear " not in my genes" from every corner of the room. I know that I can thank my mother ,but my sister who has had her own share of intestinal problems says my problems must have come from dad.  Any Dr. will tell you that stress alone cannot cause Crohns but it sure can aggravate it and bring on a flare or in my case an obstruction requiring surgery. I've always maintained that stress from  my mother caused my first one, my mother-in law my second and before I had my third one, I introduced my husband to the judge. That was 22 years ago and I never looked back. I'm in better health now at 74 than I was at 50.Amen. Marilyn 

 Reply posted for alivein315.

Please give everyone who gives you a hard time access to this website (forum). Nothing is more sobering than reading the entries to this forum. I've had UC for twenty-five years and some of these forum entries still bring tears to my eyes. Let them read of the suffering of IBD patients, let them share the lives of those with IBD. Let them read the parents entries and the caregiver entries and the surgery entries. Let them read this entry.

                                                  Joe

 Reply posted for breezy.

Thank you Breezy for your response and encouragement.  

 Reply posted for alivein315.

In the words of my precious daughter, "Get real mommy, blood can only go so far."  This is her response to a family situation we are currently weathering. I let myself get to the point of death because of my family and their idea that I was lazy.  They did not see that I had raised 3 beautiful children, maintained employment, maintained a home, and dealt with Crohn's.  I heard "It's just a virus".  I am no slacker.  I am highly respected in my industry.  The family does not see that.  They see this airhead who is lazy.  Gees.  I do not often see my family now.  I have learned that my hubby, my babies, and my friends are what I need in my life.  The nay sayers are just that.  I don't want this to happen to you.  Maybe your family needs to read some of the posts on here.  I made mine go on this website.  It helped. 

There is no way to change their minds.  They have to do it on their own.  Do not let them cause you to harm yourself.  You know what you can do and what you can't.  Pushing yourself is sometimes the worst thing you can do. 

Just know that there are alot of us here in cyberspace sending you thoughts and comfort.  Hang in there.  You will feel a little better after the iron. 

Hugs!

Breezy