PLEASE READ!! Need help ASAP!
Tue, January 17, 2012 12:29 PM
I am 27 years old, but have gone back to school to finish my degree. I'm moving into an appartment on the 22nd. I do not know the girls I have been placed with. They are all about 20 years old. It's a great place. Each roommate has a private room, there are two bathrooms (which generally are shared with one roommate specifically), a dining room, a "living room", full sized fridge, and a stove.
My guess is that the three lived together last semester. I don't know them at all and am working on an email to send them before they come back and I move in to tell them about myself and find out what things they do and do not have.
Here's what I need help with: Should I tell my three rooommates in the email that will be my first contact with them? Should I just tell the one roommate I'll be sharing a bathroom with? When should I tell them if not the first time I contact them? How do I tell them?
I've told many people about my disease and am not ashamed of it. Usually when I tell a new person that I have Crohn's it is somehow brought up in conversation ("no i can't eat that." "why not?" "I have Crohn's disease etc" But, it's been years since I lived on campus and don't remember how I handled it before. I also haven't had roommates (other than family) since 2006, so that's why I need help.
I looked on the CCFA website but they didn't seem to have much to say on telling roommates about having IBD when you go to college.
So, please help me as soon as possible! I need to contact them sooner than later to find out what they have and what the place needs, not to mention introduce myself to them before moving in. When do I tell them? How do I bring it up? Do I tell them in my very first email to them or should I wait? PLEASE HELP ASAP!!!
Joined Sep 14, 2011
Fri, January 20, 2012 1:03 PM
MiButterflyWing,
One really important thing to remember is, have confidence in yourself. I have had Crohn's for a long time and a bunch of operations. When I was in college, I had already had a big operation about 5 years prior and it was under control, just went to the bath room allot. Fortunately, I was a RA after I was a freshman, so I had my own room for 3 years. I have a colostomy now and use Humira to keep it under control. I do know that I have never had more confidence and self esteem in myself due to overcoming allot with the Crohn's. So try to remind yourself of that, you are already mentally stronger then you probably realize. Also you never know, the person who you need to talk to may have CD herself, or a family member or friend and may totally understand right away? Are you going to talk to this person on the phone prior to going to find out who has what and what to bring?. Do this, if you two start really talking and seem to already be getting along, I would go ahead and give her a heads up on the Crohn's! That will get rid of allot of anxiety, and hopefully she will be interested and ask questions. That will give you a chance to really explain the Crohn's. I have had like 10 operations for Crohns and all sorts of stuff, post of compilation's and some crazy stories. So I know its easy for me to say, but, I remember vividly what it was like in a social setting way before I had the ostomy and I was in college. Remember to think about number 1, your the one with the Crohn's, and you need to take care of yourself especially the little things, you will feel much better about yourself.
Give me a shout anytime,
Andrew
One really important thing to remember is, have confidence in yourself. I have had Crohn's for a long time and a bunch of operations. When I was in college, I had already had a big operation about 5 years prior and it was under control, just went to the bath room allot. Fortunately, I was a RA after I was a freshman, so I had my own room for 3 years. I have a colostomy now and use Humira to keep it under control. I do know that I have never had more confidence and self esteem in myself due to overcoming allot with the Crohn's. So try to remind yourself of that, you are already mentally stronger then you probably realize. Also you never know, the person who you need to talk to may have CD herself, or a family member or friend and may totally understand right away? Are you going to talk to this person on the phone prior to going to find out who has what and what to bring?. Do this, if you two start really talking and seem to already be getting along, I would go ahead and give her a heads up on the Crohn's! That will get rid of allot of anxiety, and hopefully she will be interested and ask questions. That will give you a chance to really explain the Crohn's. I have had like 10 operations for Crohns and all sorts of stuff, post of compilation's and some crazy stories. So I know its easy for me to say, but, I remember vividly what it was like in a social setting way before I had the ostomy and I was in college. Remember to think about number 1, your the one with the Crohn's, and you need to take care of yourself especially the little things, you will feel much better about yourself.
Give me a shout anytime,
Andrew
Joined Aug 5, 2009
Thu, January 19, 2012 6:50 AM
Reply posted for MiButterflyWing.
I would also wait and meet them before you tell them about your Crohns. Let them get to know you first. If you write it in a Email they might think Oh now we are going to have this big problem with this person. But if they meet you and see how you are just like they are and you ease into it I don't think it will be a big deal. They will think Oh she's a nice girl it doesn't matter. Plus at that time you might be able to go into detail about your food. I eat SCD so I am not sure what you do. Are you stable right now.
Good Luck on going back to school.
MJP
Joined May 22, 2011
Wed, January 18, 2012 3:22 PM
I agree to wait until you meet your new roommates in person. Let them have the chance to get to know you first, then they can learn about your Crohn's after. I think it would be an easier conversation to have in person too.
Hope this helps and all the best as you return to school. That is awesome you are doing that. What are you studying btw?
Thanks
Joey
Joined Sep 27, 2011
Tue, January 17, 2012 1:48 PM
Reply posted for MiButterflyWing.
I would wait and not put it in the "intro" email. Then it would be judging the right time to discuss it.
Good for you on going back to school.
Wendy
Joined Jan 5, 2009
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