Community Forum

Have a question, or want to share your own tips and experiences? Join the discussion in the community forum. You must be registered to participate. Our forums are moderated by Crohn's & Colitis Foundation staff to facilitate a safe environment.

Emotionally I make myself sick and I want to get better


Tue, August 12, 2014 3:32 PM

i was diagnosed with crohns when i was eleven years old, now i am twenty one in a month and finally trying to deal with everything and i guess i just needed someone to tell. i've never really talked to anyone about this besides my mother because she was just always there through everything and selfishly i've used that to my advantage but i desperately want to change. i want to live a life without making myself sick any longer and i know if i don't deal with this part of myself so i can hopefully accept it and move on.

well i guess i've always been a high strung kid, just super stressful always just a worrier and that was probably one of the reason that i had gotten so sick so early. i remember being angry because i just didn't understand why i was like that or why i was so sick and i couldn't just get a magic pill to be fixed. i'm still sort of angry about it and i doubt the angry will ever go away, but i feel as if i am not as angry as i use to be. why i wasn't like the other kids in my class and how just all together upset i was about being where i was. that time it was just about getting better and pretending that none of that ever happened and just try to be a normal kid. it was when i really started to *** up no amount of anything could make me take my pills that they wanted me to take in the children hospital, there was no amount of anything to get to take them because i thought i was just better and in some respects i hold that mentality that i am still trying to break. 




FPO ghostuna
Joined Aug 12, 2014

Mon, December 01, 2014 4:42 AM

hello, i want to know properly about treatment when i was sick.

FPO rbbchina
Joined Nov 15, 2014

Thu, August 28, 2014 12:23 AM

 Reply posted for ghostuna.

I am the same way.  I have a lot of anger I got diagnosed at 23y.o.  I was in nursing school and working full-time at a Hospital. I had to cut back so I took time off of work that didn't help so I had quit school.  This sent me into a severe depression and I am still working to get the crohn's and depression the important thing is have a support system.  I have a cousin who has UC and a husband who has been there from the beginning.  they are the ones to help me get out of my own head.   Hobbies help to accomplishing something no matter how little seems to help keep my mind off the pain both physically and mentally.  I also have talked to a counselor and am on Pristiq.  Anything that helps there is no need to feel ashamed or scared the best thing is to ask for help when you need it.  That took me a while to learn and it cost me some freinds

FPO ameschwen
Joined Oct 11, 2009

Tue, August 12, 2014 3:34 PM

 Reply posted for ghostuna.

 Nothing that I couldn't handle but it slowly started to become overwhelming. I went to school full time I worked part time at a dead end job and I was just slowly spinning out of control. I couldn't get the meds that the doctor wanted me to take because I was fighting with the insurance two months going by before I was on anything but roids to control the mild inflation I had and truth be told it shouldn't have been that bad. In all honest I still don't know why I am so much pain still and all I can come up with is that I was just not dealing with the emotional side of crohns, that stress and my anxiety making it worse. So It was one of the reasons I came here, maybe to talk to someone maybe to deal with what's really bothering me. 

FPO ghostuna
Joined Aug 12, 2014

Tue, August 12, 2014 3:33 PM

 Reply posted for ghostuna.

At fifteen I got sick again, this time letting it get so bad for that I had to have a resection 18" and then I was put on humira and that put me into recession for a long time, seven years when I was just well and not dealing with what I really needed to do or even take care of myself. Part of it being just the fact that I had no desire to even deal with my crohns I wanted to pretend that I was just a normal run of the mill kid that had a sort of just sickly but I was okay now. Also I was just... ashamed of myself... ashamed that I was born with something that I could not change and I believe I really started to self sabotage myself at that point really eating things I wasn't spouse to pretending and only dealing with my problem when I had to take the shot and avoiding the doctor every chance a I got. It is like I believe that because I have crohns that I just don't deserve anything, no doubt the depression that I have seems to make things worse than they actually are.  

 

This last year is when thing started to come to ahead, six months ago I really started to notice I was having problems and unlike how I use to I actually went to  the doctor. Where I really just started to come to terms that I have server crohns and I have to deal with this and its not going away. But I found out I was immune to Humira and that is when things started to really get messy, I live near one of the best places in the world for crohns doctors so I got a referral pretty fast got in to see the teaching school it was good things started working out till the doctor I was seeing left and a bunch of things began to fall into my lap. 

FPO ghostuna
Joined Aug 12, 2014

Related Topics

Feeling Alone with my UP ...
Author Image BeauutifulChaos
Joined Feb 17, 2022

I was diagnosed in October of 2020 with Ulcerative....

read more

Stunned by how much this ...
Author Image Alrightalright
Joined Sep 11, 2021



read more