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Hey all, my name is Darcy! I was originally diagnosed way back in 2010 when i was 15 with crohns and had some back and forth issues with medication and stuff anyways long story short i was eventually put on Humira and had to do the 2 shots every 2 weeks in my legs and it was crazy painful and so hard for me to do back then and i ended up getting frustrated and embarrassed and basically stoped taking medication and going to the doctor for it and recently I’ve been having some serious pain and issues so I’ve finally gone to the doctor again and I’m terrified.
I know it’s my own fault but I’m so worried about what my colonoscopy is going to show on the 3rd that it’s making my pains worse because of all the stress and i just don’t know how I’m going to handle the news. I have a feeling it’s going to be bad and I’m beating myself up pretty bad about it all. My parents and friends are super supportive but i don’t think they understand just how terrified i am about what could be said.
I feel so so worthless at work lately too cause i had to call out a few times and I’m not able to bend over and get stuff fixed on the shelves without it sending pain just all through my abdomen.
I can can just feel my self confidence sinking lower and lower and the steroids are marking me gain weight and I’ve always had a hard time keeping weight off and I’m an emotional mess right now.
Im not really sure what I’m looking for with this.. i just needed to let someone know that understands i guess.
Reply posted for Darcymicaela13.
first of all, i'm so sorry about what's going on :( it's not fun at all what youre going through and i just want you to know that you aren't alone!
I don't know if this will be encouraging at all, but they recently came out with a version of Humira that is citric-free, so it doesn't burn or hurt going in. I've been on it for a year now and other thatn the occaiconal injection site bruise, i hardly even notice it going in. So if the humira was working for your symptoms, i would encourage you to talk to your doctor about possibly getting the citric-free formula so that you can have the good effects of the meds without all the pain!
It's really easy to blame yourself when your symtpoms get worse, especially if you did make the choice to stop your medications, but beating yourself up will only make your symtpoms worse. So I think it's ok to acknowledge that it wasn't a good idea to do that, but try not to dwell on it. Also, your fears are completely valid. Don't be mad or confused or think you desrve to be afraid of waht comes next. It's ok to be scared of what your results might be, again, just try not to dwell on that fear. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to :) Your body is stronger than you know.
I hope this helps to at least give you some encouragement :)