Dont know what to do
Thu, August 27, 2009 12:00 AM
So here I am again just feeling extremely depressed and down not sure why I think the constant apin and then trying to act like nothing is wrong and putting on a happy face
all the time just wears a person down I guess its time to see a therapist its been years since I have had to do that but I really think it might be time again.I am having a ct scan next week since I am having bad stomach and right side ab and back pain had an ultrasound they thought maybe gallbladder or kidneys but no they are fine.I would really like to just stay in bed and hide forever I am thankful to have a job but its getting very hard to go. Thanks for listening just needed to vent.
Joined Jul 23, 2009
Sun, September 06, 2009 10:59 PM
Reply posted for msalanui.
I hear ya! I have been feeling extremely down lately. I think it's because I am heading towards surgery. The humira isn't really doing it's job and I was supposed to start tapering my prendisone this last week. I couldn't though cause I am still bleeding. It's getting hard for me emotionally cause sometimes I can't see the road ahead. I am on leave from work right now cause of this and I just can't seem to grasp what life would be like if I had to have an ostomy bag. I am scared of my marriage ending, I mean who would want to be intimate with someone with a poop bag hanging off their body and a scar down their entire mid-section? Does that make sense? I don't know, I can't think clearly a lot of times cause I am too busy thinking about what else I can do to prolong the inevitable. My email is always open for you if you want to talk. VBallxchic@aol.com
Take Care!!
Amy
Joined Jul 21, 2008
Mon, August 31, 2009 7:43 AM
Reply posted for msalanui.
Boy can I relate! I had to go & see a counselor this past spring & still going. It just gets to be to much! Depression hit me really hard at the beginning of July. Odd as it is winters that are usually my bumpy time. Lots has been going on in the last year & I finally had it!
Changed my Rx to Cymbalta. Was horrible the first two weeks, I couldn't remember stuff & got rather scared. Still cant remember S*** but at least it is back to regular forgetfulness vs. total memory gone! My kids helped a lot, too much for being kids. Still thank God they are here. The cymbalta seems to have regulated & I feel a lot better. Not 100%, I see the counselor 1 x a week. She is great with chronic pain & illness patients, just to talk & not feel like you have to smile 
. It is so hard for others to relate when they havnt gone thru what we are. It is almost as if you want to have an arm amputated so they will go 'ohhh you Really are sick or disabled'! Then hit them with the amputated one! LOL
Get some help, life sucks at times & we need someone to cry/vent to - IT IS OK! I was thinking about kick-boxing & pretending the dummy was my X - LoL. Read a good uplifting book, stop watching the news & depressing shows. Go rent a good old comedy & laugh until U cry 
, keep crying if you want! Literally go smell the roses, sent therapy is great! Pamper yourself, even if its a little bit. Write a list of good things & past them all over the house.
Good luck - go see someone talk, yell shout just get it out. Oh yeah 'screaming at the top of your lungs in the car is great!' Just make sure your not in a crowded intersection - you get lots of odd looks. 
Joined Jan 21, 2009
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