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How to handle the sideways comments:/

Sat, October 29, 2011 1:18 PM

I am 24, and had my ileostomy surgery earlier this year. I went in for my reversal three months ago and had a horror of a time with my reconnection surgery. Needless to say, I’ll have my ileostomy well into the incoming year. I’ve just started a new job and receive a lot of slack from people about my appearance. I have a dress code at my new job and I usually layer cover-ups or vests over my shirts to help cover my bag when it starts to get full. I am constantly dealing with sideways comments about how I’m “trying awfully hard to look pretty just for work.” I’m incredibly private and haven’t disclosed my situation to anyone, but sometimes I just want to lift up my shirt show my stoma, my scars from all the drain tubes and exploratory surgery, and yell “DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER!!” Any opinions on a more civil way to handle my dilemma??

rent1rent2
Joined May 19, 2010

Tue, November 22, 2011 2:37 PM

Reply posted for Rent1Rent2.

i am so sorry!

(also, I had a weave too, lol!)

But seriously, that is just so sad. I would say something, but that is just me. I get tired of hearing it and I think people need to be put in their place. They shouldn't be judging you. :(

-Sara

http://agirlwithguts.tumblr.com/

sara0226
Joined Aug 6, 2008

Tue, November 22, 2011 2:37 PM

Reply posted for Rent1Rent2.

i am so sorry!

(also, I had a weave too, lol!)

But seriously, that is just so sad. I would say something, but that is just me. I get tired of hearing it and I think people need to be put in their place. They shouldn't be judging you. :(

-Sara

http://agirlwithguts.tumblr.com/

sara0226
Joined Aug 6, 2008

Tue, November 01, 2011 4:49 PM

Reply posted for Rent1Rent2.

You don't owe anybody any explanation. People are ignorant.....their sly comments of you being "high maintenance" is so high school. I have that conversation w/my highschooler all of the time with kids passing comments about her.....they are simply jealous b's is what I tell her.

Hold your head high, keep a stiff upper lip, and do a superb job in your new position. Don't worry about the b's.

Good luck

Lizzies Mom

lizzies mom
Joined Sep 9, 2009

Sat, October 29, 2011 1:29 PM

Reply posted for Rent1Rent2.

also, i have been off humira and remicade and asacol and prednisone for almost 4 months:) the combination of those drugs and the stress of surgery caused my hair to thin out to the point i was bald in the back of my head. i've just now finally been able to take out my hair extension (don't judge me, i had a weave!) and got highlights and a brand spakin' new cut. i get comments about how i look snobby and high maintenance all the time!!

it's not necessarily the opinions of others that bother the *** out of me; people are entitled to their opinions. it's the struggles i've had and the sacrifices i've made to just be here paired with the nerve they have to pass judgment on me. i really don't want to explain to these people my circumstance, because it's such a long winded private story but at the same time i want to shake some sense into them!! how do i do that without alienating myself??

rent1rent2
Joined May 19, 2010

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