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Flare up


Thu, June 01, 2017 6:40 AM

I need some advice. My husband is on humira and it was working great. A few months back we were having some
marital problems and one night had a huge fight and we nearly parted ways. Today my husband tells me he has been having a flare ever since and it was from the stress of the one night we had a huge fight. My question is can one stressful night cause a flare that lasts for 3 months? When he told me that it just made me feel so awful, now I'm afraid to have any disagreements with him or bring up any issues. 
Please any advice would be great, I just want him Healthy

FPO Supportivewife
Joined Jun 1, 2017

Fri, June 23, 2017 10:18 AM

Reply posted for aheckman11.

Thanks so much for the support!!!

FPO Supportivewife
Joined Jun 1, 2017

Thu, June 22, 2017 4:15 PM

Reply posted for Supportivewife.

Yeah it shouldn't be a blame game. Because I can see where that would definitely sit wrong with you. It's nobody's fault that they have crohns and it's not specifically someone's fault for causing a flare. Does it add to it, absolutely. But it's not fair to place sole blame on you. It is hard to find that balance of support and still feeling like you can have a conversation about your relationship. Over time the conversations get easier and you both learn a lot about how you can have a happy relationship and manage his Crohn's effectively. Don't just roll over! You need to worry about yourself too. Just because you don't have this disease doesn't mean you don't have things going on in your life as well. I hope you things get better and you find that happy medium of managing his disease and your relationship. Best of luck. Always here when anyone needs to talk. It honestly has helped me so much in such a short time just being able to talk to others going through similar things that I am. 

FPO aheckman11
Joined Jun 21, 2017

Thu, June 22, 2017 3:19 PM

Reply posted for aheckman11.

Thanks for the advise I just was taken back when he said the flare was my fault cause we had a fight! I'm sure he was just upset but to say me getting in a fight with him cause this flare n for him to be sick for weeks didn't seem fair and has stuck with me since he said it. I don't want him to get sick I want him to be healthy 
but fights and disagreements happen, and I don't wanna feel like I can have a fight with him if I'm upset without It making him sick, I guess I'm just struggling to find balance to be supportive n also make sure our relationship is healthy and I don't ignore problems and not address them.

FPO Supportivewife
Joined Jun 1, 2017

Thu, June 22, 2017 5:47 AM

Reply posted for Supportivewife.

Hello,

Unfortunately flares can be triggered by so many things. Foods, environmental factors, stress, and many others can make symptoms worse. I'm 24 and recently diagnosed with Crohn's and my last flare put me in the hospital, and I discovered I had Crohn's, I believe was largely due to stress in my life. My 19 year old sister lives with me and my fiancé and her life struggles at the young age of 19 are more than enough stress to put me into a flare for weeks/months. I love her to death and could never tell her that. I've just chalked it up to "life stress" You need to try and not feel like you can't talk to him about anything for fear of a flare. You have to work together to help each other feel good in your lives. All we want is for people to understand we are going through some pretty tough stuff. And sometimes it's too much. But we need good people close to us that are there for us. This disease is very hard on not only our bodies but our minds as well. And the minds of our loved ones. I hope the two of you can work together and be there for one another through the difficult times. My fiancé and I work together at his business and sometimes that's easier said than done. He is very loving and supportive but still doesn't fully understand what having this disease means. It's a learning process every day for us both. You are not alone and neither is he. 

FPO aheckman11
Joined Jun 21, 2017

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