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Desperate for Advice


Thu, March 07, 2013 2:14 AM

My husband was diagnosed with Crohn's in 1982.  He has had 8 various surgeries in the last 10 years, with almost 1 surgery per year.  This last one was about 6 months ago.  As expected from his Crohn's, he is taking much longer to heal than the average person.  The doctor told him that it could possibly be 12 to 18 months in total.  For him, it probably means 18, unfortunately.He has become depressed, lethargic, moody, and generally tired.  He was this way for about 2 weeks, and then started to have a flare complete with distention.  The flare seems to have subsided some this week, but he is basically the same.  He talks to several friends and his brother every day (never about Crohns), but doesn't like to leave the house.I have tried everything....I have loved, encouraged, badgered, and even yelled at him.(Yes...I do realize the later 2 are not that great, but sometimes it's hard not too).  I have suggested he keep a journal, talk to his sisters, talk to me, go to see his mom (both his parents have passed, but it sometimes helps him to feel better if he visits their graves), to go to counseling, and also to go to support groups He has excuses not to for all of it at one point or another.I don't know what to do anymore, and I feel like I need encouragement and therapy myself.  I know that it is hard to be sick most of the time, and to have more problems every time you turn around, but it is also hard to be around someone who is sick most of the time. 
I did look into local groups, so I could go, but the closest 1 only meets 1 time every other month.  If anyone has any advice for my husband, or myself, I would greatly appreciate it.  I really just don't know what to do anymore.

FPO katbill
Joined Mar 7, 2013

Fri, March 08, 2013 1:16 PM

 Reply posted for katbill.

I was very ill with Chrone's for years and finally tried Sky Curtis's protocol for doing fecal transplants at home.  After years of suffering, her treatment saved me!  I have no more symptoms! I bought her guidebooks from http://www.fecalinfusions.com.  No one needs to suffer any longer with this terrible disease.  There's hope!

FPO friendsurvivor
Joined Mar 8, 2013

Fri, March 08, 2013 1:16 PM

 Reply posted for katbill.

I was very ill with Chrone's for years and finally tried Sky Curtis's protocol for doing fecal transplants at home.  After years of suffering, her treatment saved me!  I have no more symptoms! I bought her guidebooks from http://www.fecalinfusions.com.  No one needs to suffer any longer with this terrible disease.  There's hope!

FPO friendsurvivor
Joined Mar 8, 2013

Thu, March 07, 2013 7:56 PM

 Reply posted for katbill.

I can relate to you on so many levels.  Having been a caretaker for my dad, mom, daughter I know how draining it is.  It is good that your husband is speaking with friends, family, etc.   Guys are wired differently than we are and it isn't shocking that he isn't pouring his heart out to everyone about IBD.   Let's face it, it isn't a great subject.  
I think your thought about going to a therapy may be beneficial (to you).   He doesn't want to go, I understand, but it may really be helpful to you.   I once went to a therapist and after only a few sessions I felt a positive difference.  Just knowing that what I had been going through at the time was ok and I wasn't the only one.  We (my daughter was probably 10 at the time) used to go to a local group, it too was only once every other month, but stopped because the kids were teens and had negative input and it was harmful to her.  She was dx at 4 and I was diagnosed a few ago at 40, after a lifetime of different symptoms, but that's a whole different story.
You are doing everything you can to help him and you need to vent and let out some steam.   Whether taking a run, yoga class, or a simple mani-pedi, it could make a difference.  Maybe you could encourage taking a walk with him after dinner, renting a movie, or even having a few friends over for a weekend dinner.  
  

 

FPO lizzies mom
Joined Sep 9, 2009

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