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Hello, my name is Barbara. I was diagnosed with UC about 10 years ago around the same time I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2. Talk about a double whammy. I am 51 years old and thought I had a good long term marriage and worked a full time job, 2 kids, you know the whole routine. They got the UC under control with Asacol and prednisone and then I went into remission. May 2005 I was airlifted to the hospital with a bleeding brain anuresym. The doctor said I was lucky I lived......but was I? After I learned how to comuniate again, my husband said I was "damaged goods." and then we divorced. Now, with no surprise to me, the UC has come back full force and I no longer have insurance for medical coverage. I am so angry at the chain of events that has led me here and the lack of help for what I call the "silent disease." Dating.....are you kidding.....who would want to date someone with so many health problems and how can you be intimate when you don't know if you will have an accident during that moment. I tried to explain how I feel to my daughter but how is she to understand even though she is a young adult. The anxiety, pain, depression, fear and the whole enchilada has hit me really hard. I don't want to give up at 51......yes, I have thought about it. I don't know where to turn or whom to even talk to. Would anyone be interested in an email support friend? If so my email is myzeb7125@yahoo.com. If not then I understand how it feels to just want to stay invisible. Thank you for your time.

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

Hi Barbara;

Don't give up!  There are men out there who are willing to accept you with your diseases! 

When I was diagnosed with UC my immediate reaction was "who is going to want me now?" or "who is going to want to deal with this?".  I quickly regained my composure and decided that there must be men out there who are willing to love me the way I am - disease and all.  Others have found love with diseases way worse than mine.  If others can do it, why not me?!  Besides, what man out there doesn't have his own health issues - whether it's high blood pressure, diabetes, or something!

And to prove it - I found a great guy who accepted my disease and learned about the disease (of course, he is a PhD biochemist so learning about this kind of stuff is actually interesting to him).  He has since helped me through two surgeries and recoveries when I had my colon removed this summer. 

But even before I met Keith, I dated a number of men;  all of whom accepted me with the disease.  Why?  Because I was up front and honest early on about my disease.  It became clear to me early on in relationships who could handle it and who couldn't.  This allowed me to make decisions about whom I wanted to invest my time in and who should be cut loose early.

I used to have a profile on a dating site and included in my bio that I have UC and anyone wanting to be a part of my life must be willing to accept the terms and limitations of the disease.  I realize this is a bit forward and isn't for everyone; but it worked for me.

My advice is this - when entering into a new relationship with chronic diseases I think it is important to first accept yourself and KNOW that there are men out there who are kind and caring and who will accept you as you are - diseases and all!

Wishing you the very best in all areas.....

Angie 

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

Barbara

Don't ever give up. Become determined. I have battled colitis for ten years. It was horrible. I remember always feeling like their was a fire inside my stomach at all times. I was scared to eat because I would have to go strait to the bathroom. The doctor put me on some permanent medication. However, I am not one for medicine. I decided to learn to eat all over again. I don't eat beef or pork because it's too hard for my body to digest...now I don't even like it. I don't eat tomatoes or drink orange juice. The last thing I did was switch from regular milk to Soy Silk. It made a hugh difference. I don't eat fried foods. This was not easy but I had to take control somewhere. I was battling the colitis every six months including bleeding on the inside. However, since I have changed everything I has been a year and a half. I just recently battleds it again. It was okay since I hadn't had to battle it for sooo long. I have a boyfriend that I live with who helps me to stay straight. He fusses at me if I am even thinking about eating the wrong thing. He was there when things were really bad so he knows.

Good luck to you. Remember to never give up and stop stressing because stress can make it flare up. Take control. Feel free to email me if you like at tuesday515@yahoo.com

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

Hi Barbara,I have had Crohns for abot four years. I had a couple fistulas a couple years ago and had surgery for that . Ive  had a hard time with this disease to in more ways than one . Its very depressing. And people dont really understand what you go through and the pain you deal with. Luckly my husband and kids understand for now anyway . But it is still embarrising when you have a accident or Its one of those days when your spending all your time in the bathroom. I'm new to this site and I hope to get some support and also help others.  And I do know what you mean about being intimate im always affraid of having a accident or Im never in the mood. I no longer feel sexy as a woman anymore with this disease. Ive even asked my docs to even run a hormone check on me its so bad like im going through the stage of life but im to young for that I'm only 30 But so far they have not listened to me I guess cause there men. LOL. I do hope you find the support you need. 

 Reply posted for ACA11.

Hi Barbara,    I too tried to email you, but it didn't go through.  I feel bad for you & want you to know we are all here for you.  If your daughter doesn't have Crohn's or UC, she couldn't understand.

   I was told about 2 months or so that I'm a diabetic also.  The Crohn's right now is in remission, for how long I don't know. Starting to have cramps more often.  My GI Dr told me I'd had it for at least 25 yrs, I'd found a mess of my old blood tests & showed him.  Was DX'ed a little over 2 yrs ago.  It's effecting my eye sight now too.

   I have many other personal problems, but not up to talking about them right now.  This is a great site to let off steam tho.  The drug companies are helping with the drug prices, contact ccfa & see what can be done about a doctor for you.   Hugs & prayers, Granny Grump

 Reply posted for cakies.

Rachel,
What is a TEMP colostomy and then what is reversed? I am ready for something after having so many bouts. My Dr. wants to put me on those stronger meds. like Remicade or something else. ??
Thanks,
Dana

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

I am so sorry you are going through all this...

I have had UC for the past couple years, and ended up with a TEMP Colostomy, which has been a life saver.  I too remember planning my days around my toilet, and feeling like you are  missing out on everything.

Have you considered this?  Mine was an emergency procedure, and I am scheduled for a reversal on the 15th of September.  Since I almost died from a peforated colon, diverticulitis and peritonitis.

Had I been offered an exploratory surgery in my many hospital stays and bouts of dirrea and cramping so bad I couldn't stand for weeks, I would have said "YES" feeling as GREAT as I feel now.

I have no bad symptoms since this procedure 2 days before my 32nd birthday.

I guess I am trying to help everyone who is suffering with an option to what seems like a no brainer...take medicine and eventually end up where are now are get surgery heal and feel 1,000% better.

Have you talked to your Dr. about any of your options?  Also, I am sorry to hear about your husband leaving, he wasn't the right one for you and now you can focus 100% on yourself. 

Hope this will give you some insite..

Rachel

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

Barbara,
Hi my name is Dana, I have had UC for about 24 years.  My remissions last anywhere from a year and half to this last one of three years!  This summer I have had a flare up that hit hard. I am on steroids and waiting for it to kick in.  When it all started back in 1985 I was in college and I had been through some emotional trauma that may have started it all. Our thoughts and emotions do effect our bodies. Over the years I can see that my flare ups can correlate with some feelings of being overwhelmed or making major decisions that I let "get to me".  I do understand about the loneliness that can come with UC. Right now it is even hard to go to the grocery store.  I have learned to focus on whats really important during times of illness and all the expectations that are put on us are not always what we have to "be".  It has helped me let things go when I feel overwhelmed and focus on the little things and the people that are in my life right now. I have never had a friend that has what I have. I would enjoy talking with you.
Dana  

 Reply posted for ACA11.

Never gotten any emails

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

Let me know here if my email made it through.  I sent two, the first one I don't think did, so I fired off another.  If so, I'll send another.

Thinking of you!