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I'm struggliing with the decision about whether I should try to have kids or not. I'm concerned about how I will function with this illness and a baby. How will I go racing into the bathroom with a baby in tow lol? I think about all the field trips and things I just couldn't do without constant access to a bathroom. I also don't want to embarass my future child with my problems. Then there is the added risk of possibly giving my child Crohns, which I would wish on no one, especially a child. I just turned 30 this year, and I was diagnosed 3 years ago. I have never been in remission and my disease has gotten progressively worse ever since. Luckily, I do not have very much pain, but nearly constant trips to the bathroom all the time. How do mothers with Crohns manage? Any insight or advice would be much appreciated......

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

One other positive thing about having kids - they give you something to live for, to feel blessed with, and to get out of bed for! Of course there are days when you just can't throw your disease aside; however, there are other days when it's bad, but I drag myself up and smile at my kids and know that life could be worse. If they're happy and healthy, I can take a little suffering in exchange, right? That's the way I've chosen to look at it. I have a friend with a baby suffering through chemo and radiation for a brain tumor. Guess what? I felt LUCKY to have Crohn's disease, rather than to have a child going through that. Being a parent will give you an entirely new perspective on this disease, if nothing else.

Hope that is helpful... even if it seems a little backward. Perspective can make a big difference in your day-to-day outlook, you know?

 Reply posted for alanschachter.

Please don't presume to know anything about my eating habits. I've lived a healthy lifestyle my entire life. I've also tried "gluten free" type diets in the past, which were no help for my Crohns disease whatsoever. I find it pretty amusing that you would suggest that my Crohns disease could be "fixed" purely by diet. Believe me, if that were true, don't you think everyone would be doing that if it was that easy?

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

i think you'd be surprised... in general terms, kids are amazing creatures. they adapt to anything you can throw at them, for the most part! when they're babies, you have bouncy seats, musical swings, and plenty of other options to keep them safe while you run to the bathroom. baby gates when they get older keep them out of harm's way. yes, you might have to be a little more prepared when  you have this disease, but you can definitely manage, and your child will most definitely not be neglected because of it.

i mean, let's face it... sometimes, you're going to be in the bathroom a lot. and cartoons are not going to warp your toddler's mind if he watches them for 10 minutes while you're in the bathroom. hopefully, your kid won't need your attention while you're in there. but guess what - sometimes he might, and let's just say you locked the bathroom door for privacy? he might stand outside and cry for a minute. but guess what? he'll get bored and walk away, more than likely, if you don't play into it. and again, you're not neglecting them by letting them cry for a few minutes! the old saying "it hurts you more than it hurts them" totally applies here.

the most important thing is that you have a good, solid support system in place to help when you're in need. whether it's family or a good friend that can come when you call, make sure you have people around you that know the situation and are willing and able to help. most people will be more than happy to hold the baby for a little while for you!

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

I cant answer the question for you either.

I was dx with crohns in 2006. My first son was born in 2005. Doc thinks it made my crohns become active. My second pregnancy, I ended up in the hospital basically the last 3 months. I did get to do home health for one of the months. I had a bowel obstruction, was feed TPN through a PICC line for 2 weeks and I started to get better, but then I became much worse. One of the ob-gyn doctors thought that I wouldnt make it. Blood pressure was 80/50, heart rate was 170, and my babys was in the 200s.

They said I had an abcess on my liver that was over half the size of my liver. They had to stick a drain in my side...oh man did it smell awful! They induced me at 36 weeks, so that I could heal up and have surgery. So when my youngest was 2 weeks old, I went and had 14-16 inches taken out. And that liver abcess was actually where my bowel had ruptured. My surgeon said that the fat from my pregnant belly pushed the bowel that had ruptured and made it attach to my liver. He didnt know if I would still be here if I hadn't been pregnant.

I got discharged from the hospital 5 days later, and went home to my  3 year old and my 3 week old baby. It was very hard to take care of them...and myself. I had a lot of support, thank God! There were plenty of times...which sounds gross, but i would have to carry my youngest into the bathroom with me while i was feeding him, b/c I couldnt wait and neither good he.   But it's all worked out. He is now 14 months old and my oldest is 5.

I wouldn't trade it for the world. My 5 year old is very use to me going to the bathroom. Sometimes he will smack his head and say again? lol, But it's just normal for us.

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

I raised 3 kids (single mom, even).  I have Crohn's disease.  They are now grown (24,22, and 19) without Crohn's.  It can be done.  The key is taking care of you while you take care of them.  It is not easy but then parenting is not easy.  It is very rewarding.  My trio grew up knowing when mommy needed extra hugs and iced tea.  We are very close.  They know so much about food and how our bodies process it.  They know all about exercise.  Growing up with a mommy with Crohn's has helped shape them into very caring young adults.  They know how and when to question doctors and they stand firm on their beliefs.  The youngest one is on his way to becoming a paramedic. They are my support and my wonders.  My hubby just shakes his head at my trio. 

The choice is yours. Just know that it is very possible and very rewarding.  If one of mine develops Crohn's, well, he or she will have a mommy to help.

Breezy

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

Having children is such a personal choice, add any chronic disease and that choice sometimes is even more complicated.   I can offer a little different angle on the discussion.  

My father, fathered 3 children.   At the time, it was unknown that he was a juvenile diabetic.  It wasn't until I was probably 8 yrs old that he was diagnosed.  As a family, we pulled together and believe it or not it made us stronger as a FAMILY.  Unfortunately, his life was cut short, but his legacy lives on forever.   At this point, none of his children are diabetic.

When my daughter was finally diagnosed with CD (she was 4) we were baffled (never even hearing of this before).   We rallied as a family and it again made us stronger as a FAMILY.   Six years have gone by since my daughter's dx and guess what, now we know where it came from.......... me!   It wasn't until this year that we found out.   I have two daughters... only one has CD.

I can tell you it doesn't matter if a child is yours biologically or not,  adoption is a great option for some.  It is a true honor to be called "Mom".   Sure there are days when I just want to pull my hair out, or theirs, but the good days by far outweigh the bad.  Don't sell yourself short simply because you have a chronic disease.   You can still be a nurturing, loving parent.  Do you want to live your life with regret?   Should have, would have, could have, but didn't?  

I wouldn't be here had my father known and/or disgarded himself as a father because he too had an auto-immune disease.   My daughter's wouldn't be here had I known and / or decided not to take a chance.   Part of being a FAMILY is taking what comes your way.  

Lizzies Mom

 Reply posted for 6mb03.

That is so true! I got that same response from my best friend. "Why wouldn't you have kids?" Other people just do not understand the ramifications of this disease, physically or emotionally. She did have some valid points. That having a child is an experience that I just shouldn't miss, even with the risks. That they could find a cure during my lifetime, that my child would have a 90% chance of NOT getting Crohns, and that having a life to live is better than none at all, but it's just scary. She says what a wonderful mother I would be, but I can't help thinking that maybe I won't be. How great can I be when I'm constantly worrying about my own health and needs? It's nice to know that there are other women out there struggling with the same issues though.

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

I cannot offer answers either. It's such an intimate and personal decision. I can completely and totally understand your conflict. I'm a 31 year old happily married woman who is emotionally ready to have children but not physically ready. Because of the physcial issues, some days I don't know if I'm even emotionally available enough to have kids. I've been diagnosed with Crohn's for 6 years. Between the fatigue and medical symptoms and the worry of what pregnancy with 6MP and Remicade would do to my baby, I'm deeply conflicted about whether or not to have a child. Additionally, there is a strong genetic history of Crohn's in my immediate family. I am torn and confused and if I think about too much, I become overwhelmed with grief and frustration. Very few people understand the overhwhelming nature of this decision. Even close friends have reduced my dilemma to the simple question of, "But you can get pregnant, right? So you can have kids!" As if it was just that simple...

I do know that I'm lucky enough to work with a GI and a Gyn who have been open, honest, and supportive of my journey. Both have been frank about risks and helpful enough to check out recent research of medication risks. I have hope and faith because I've discovered that having children is my ultimate goal. Good luck! The only thing that I can recommend is having a support system including your partner, family, friends, and medical professionals.

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

I too have struggled with this decision.  I have been going through the diagnosis process for the past 18 months, and was just diagnosed with indeterminate colitis as my Dr. has not been able to rule out chron's but is sure I have colitis.

Anyhow, your point of having a vulnerable infant/child dependent on you for care, and the emergent need that hits to rush to the bathroom seems difficult to manage. 

I don't have an answer or resolution to this, but thought I'd voice that you're not alone!!

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

I'm 31 and have had crohns now for five years and i have two teen boys and I wonder everyday if they are going to get this horrible disease .I have made the choice not to have anymore kids due to this disease and the chance of passing it on to my child . But this is something for you to decide  and rule all the options .

 Reply posted for SwimBikeRun.

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  WISHING YOU ALL THE GOOD LUCK