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Back on the horse?


Mon, April 19, 2010 3:05 PM

Well, it's not a fun topic... but stuff here never is, right?! Anyway, I had a sigmoid colostomy 6 weeks ago and now have to wear the dreaded bag that I've put off for so many years. It's supposedly temporary and was done in order to heal severe perianal disease. Obviously, it's been a while since I've been intimate with my husband, and I'm feeling like it's probably time I get "back on the horse." I am of course terrified of this and am looking for advice.

I always, always enjoyed a healthy sex life prior to the pain of abscesses and fistulas in the past year... and those are getting better now that I've had surgery. But NOW, there's the whole other side of this, which is much more emotional than physical. What if he doesn't like it when I have this disgusting bag on? Even though it's covered, he knows it's there... and really, how do you keep that bag covered? And what if it "fills" sometime during? UGH. I mean, I plan on tucking it into some lingerie or something, but seriously - I don't want it making an appearance at any point.

Aside from that, is this going to hurt? I still have some soreness from surgery and healing, and am wondering if flexing all those muscles is going to hurt or be uncomfortable. I'm guessing yes and am figuring on taking it slowly... but will be happy if anybody has any tips for this very embarrassing situation. Thanks!

FPO jna
Joined Jun 3, 2008

Wed, April 21, 2010 12:00 AM

 Reply posted for JNA.

I had a temp colostomy for 7 months in 2009.  It is not easy or sexy.  My husband dealt with it better than I did.  I made sure I had on a clean bag, was very careful with what I ate, and creative with hiding.  Tube tops worn around the abdomen are great.  I have one that is almost skin tone.

Yes it will be uncomfortable for a little while.  Personal lubrication helps with that.  The abdominal tightening actually helped with the soreness and recovery.  See there are many benefits people don't realize when tangling the sheets! 

Cuddling and talking goes a long way in easing the way.  Just remember you are loved with or without the stoma.  It ain't easy to remember but it is true. 

Saddle up and enjoy the ride.

Breezy

FPO breezy
Joined Jan 5, 2009

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