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Marital Intimacy and UC


Thu, May 20, 2010 7:10 PM

Hi everyone. I was looking for some feedback and perspective on this issue. I have been married for 25 years and was diagnosed with UC back in 2007. When I was first diagnosed I was so sick and practically bedridden. Ive so far been able to keep the flares under control with Lialda and prednisone. Prednisone helps the flare, but really messes with my emotional state. I experience all the typical side effects, mood swings, insomnia, night sweats, etc. Im currently weaning on pred, but have no desire to be intimate with my hubby and hes having a real problem with it. Weve talked about this issue at length and he says he understands  its the UC and pred that are causing this, yet his solution is to go away for a romantic weekend. Ive explained I will really enjoy doing that once I feel better (flare has been going on a little over a month now), but I find myself becoming more resentful as I feel he is just being selfish. Any advice? Thoughts? Thanks for reading this.

FPO jn4025
Joined Nov 22, 2008

Wed, June 30, 2010 12:00 AM

 Reply posted for jn4025.

 I totally know how you feel.  I very rarely feel like being intimate not because I don't feel well but because I am so overly tired all the time and am bloated. Husbands can be a little selfish sometimes. They are kind of like babies because they need constant attention and it is all about their needs. When I am having a flare, I find my husband and I fight the most. It should be the opposite way around. Tell your husband when you are feeling a little better then you will go on a trip with him. If you go on a trip right now you will get anxiety. Good luck.

FPO curlysue
Joined Jun 29, 2010

Fri, May 21, 2010 12:00 AM

 Reply posted for jn4025.

This will possibly be a constant issue for you, so just keep the lines of communication open.  (I have Crohns and the pain is unpredictable, so that puts a damper on things often.)  Presumably, if you've been married that long, it's not just the sex that keeps you together anyway.  As long as each of you is honest about how they're feeling, then no one is left to stew in their own hurt and you'll come out okay.

FPO nickrystal
Joined Nov 7, 2008

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