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Living with another person


Tue, July 30, 2013 4:49 PM

Hello fellow crohns/colitis community. I'm only 15 but I'm in a serious relationship with a great guy that i believe is my true love and we are planning to move in together (in an apartment with 1 bathroom most likely) after high school, once were both 18. I'm just wondering what its like to live with someone when you have crohns or colitis. When your going to the bathroom 3-4 times a day, which i know isn't a lot for someone with crohns or colitis but I'm in remission :) Also, what is it like to have colostomy bag? I might have to get one sometime in my life and it kinda scares me :/ I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said that he wouldn't see me any different with it but i don't see how, i mean I'd have a bag with stool in it hanging off my tummy. Can anyone help answer any of my questions?

FPO voodoo dolly
Joined Dec 18, 2012

Fri, August 30, 2013 11:04 PM

 Reply posted for sarah91207.

Thank you both for your replys! They really helped a lot!!!

FPO voodoo dolly
Joined Dec 18, 2012

Fri, August 30, 2013 8:18 PM

 Reply posted for voodoo dolly.

I'm just going to be honest. Your boyfriend will see a whole lot more of you than you would probably like. But he's a keeper if he's a good sport about it. I'm 22 and have been together with my husband since he was 15 and I was 16. Been married since this February. We met before I had crohns and he has loved me through it. The only thing is I wish I could "keep the mystery" so to speak. I have crohns in my terminal ileum and resulted in an anal fistula. I have a seton in place to allow it to drain. Long story short my husband has to shoot a solution into that opening down there that's close to my butt hole. Our life revolves around my disease. It's not easy, there is no mystery, but he loves me. I wish you the best of luck but it can be trying. :)

FPO sarah91207
Joined Jun 27, 2013

Wed, August 07, 2013 2:14 PM

 Reply posted for voodoo dolly.

I was friends with my boyfriend for several years before transferring colleges to further pursue a relationship with him. He has experienced both the worst and best of it while we were friends and I was in an acute flare at the time and presently as I work to remain in some semblance of remission. Moving in together wasn't a sit down, serious decision. It happened gradually - he would ask questions if curious about the disease or confused as to why I would run to the bathroom right in the middle of things and over time we found we were spending more and more time together to the point where despite paying for an apartment it was essentially a safety net and place for storage. Living with another person has been easy but I believe a lot of that was due to the fact that it's progressed at it's own speed. He welcomed me into his life - Crohn's and all - and the hardest part was perhaps believing that someone other then my family could tolerate let alone completely accept that kind of dirty business.

You're young and many things can change in 3 years, let alone a span of 3 years when you're learning so much about yourself and redefining the world and your place within it. My advise is not to worry about what "may-be" in the future for you two. You, just like me may end up with a pouch in the future - or not. The disease does not define who we are and those who truly love understand that, as those with Crohn's or UC we must trust in this and learn to appreciate and believe that ourselves.

What it's like to live with him? Well humerous for starters..  I don't imagine many people could accept it without a sense of humor but for the most part it's just like living with your best friends and the disease is just another part of life - good at times bad at others but nothing can be changes so why decide things based upon it? Hope it helps and I wish you guys the best of luck!

FPO geekyra
Joined Jan 17, 2013

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