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I am a 72 year old widow and have had colitis/Crohn's for nearly 5 years.  For the past 2 years I have had an unending flare and am now beginning with Remicade.  My daughter and grandchildren live a 5 hr. drive away, and I simply cannot manage that drive with my problem of urgent diarrhea.   I spend many holidays, birthdays, etc. without my family because rather than their driving to see me, they invite me to their home and expect me to make the drive.  I've tried to explain my problem, but my son-in-law rules the roost and any visits at all to my home are usually just my daughter and grandchildren.  It is so upsetting dealing with this illness, but the lack of understanding and a bit of empathy make it all that more difficult.  I wonder if others have had similar experience.

 Reply posted for bobbie2.

I know my post came a bit late, but I just recently became a member of this forum.  I hope you are doing well.

 Reply posted for bobbie2.

Your story breaks my heart and makes me a bit mad. On the other hand, try not to be affected by their actions.Hurtful, yes, but if you adopt a different way of thinking you will be much better health wise and emotionally as well. Believe me, I understand how you feel. I am 40 y and was diagnosed about 12 years ago.I had to do a total personality makeover. I was so impatient and would stress at every day simple events.I was always trying to have it together and to be in control of everything. With in the first year of being sick I realized that my way of thinking and reaction to situations was actually the reason why my flare ups began. I was doing well for a long time that I was off medication yay! Good things happen when we think there is no hope. For me, my faith in God grew and it allowed me to rely on him and not my own understanding.Knowing that he is in control gives me comfort that I cannot put in words.  Now, here are some ideas: I bought depends and wear them whenever I know I will be traveling (due to accident's I've had)..I have extra clothes. A roll of toilet paper and if I have to go, I just stop wherever I have to and just go. Go and have fun with your family.  Unfortunately, the situation with them is out of your control and is not worth your health to try to figure it out. I also tried meditation which made a huge difference in my life.  I hope this helps. Take care God Bless

 Reply posted for Bobbie2.

Try these steps. 1- Ask your doctor to prescribe Belladonna- it helps reduce cramping and slows down the bowel. Take some in the morning of your trip. 2-Do not eat the evening and morning before your trip. Bring along water and a snack when you get close to your destination.

 Reply posted for Lizzies Mom.

Dear Gregory and Lizzies Mom,

Thanks so much for your replies.  The "biffy bags" sound like a good thing to have available.  I'm sorry to say that the Remicade after four infusions has so far not proven to be terribly effective for me.  Others have said to stick with it for a while longer with hopes that it will kick in.  It took me so long to fianlly agree to the taking of this type of immunosuppressant drug, but I thought that the risks would be worthwhile.  Now I am wondering............

I'm mad/sad too and will not get into a family conflict over this because the stress would just devastate me at this point.  Flares of UC and Crohn's seem to have the unique ability to make life exceedingly difficult, and you really have to walk in another's shoes to fully understand the challenges.  I know you folks understand, and I appreciate that. 

 Reply posted for Bobbie2.

Your story really makes me sad/ mad.   Your situation is difficult and only fueled by your own family members' lack of understanding.   However, there is hope.  If the Remicade does it's job, this won't be an issue for you.  

My daughter was diagnosed very young (4).  In the beginning, travelling long distance was virtually impossible.  There are a number of things you can do.   Invest in the product your previous post mentioned, bring wipes, extra sets of clothing, and "safe" snacks, get plenty of rest prior to leaving.   I used to strictly watch my daughter's diet 2-3 days prior to venturing out on a long trip.   I would also pack a cooler with snacks and drinks and planned to make rest-stops along the way.   

It may take some add'l time/planning, but the rewards of being with family during holidays and birthdays are priceless.   Go, show your family how strong you are.

All my best.

Lizzies Mom

 Reply posted for Bobbie2.

There is a posting in the Travel Archives called helpful tip for travel, hiking and camping and it mentions a personable disposable toilet called the Biffy Bag. My friend thinks they are great.  check them out at www.biffybag.com. It might be something that could help. Good Luck